Having been a trust and estates lawyer since 1994 I know everybody grieves differently. I should also say there is no “right” way to grieve. Some people go into a shell for a year, or two, or forever. Some people get super active and organized. I don’t know what’s “better” as I don’t think there is a better or best way to grieve. Obviously, it’s personal and we are all different.

I recently read an article in Trust and Estates magazine about this topic. The article actually talks about the technical terms of an “instrumental” griever v. a “intuitive” griever.

An instrumental griever is the person who gets busy and gets organized after their loved ones have died.  A lot of families have one of these people and they often take charge when there has been a death.

The intuitive grievers are the ones who appear more affected by the death. They are more likely to cry. In my experience they are the ones who have a harder time dealing with the administration of an estate.

The instrumental griever is quick to clean out their deceased parent’s house and get the house ready for sale. The intuitive wants to sit, in mom’s house, enjoy the photo albums, and think about what to do.  This is just one example but it can be carried through the whole probate and trust administration process.

In the end, whatever type of griever you are find an attorney who is organized and efficient. We can make your lives that much easier during this tough time… no matter how you grieve.